The Dying Art of Dying
- drhabiba kamarul
- Sep 1
- 2 min read
As a haematologist, around 20% of my patients eventually require palliative care—end-of-life support. This is the heaviest part of my work. Planning chemotherapy, delivering treatment, and managing side effects often feel far easier than walking with patients through death. Society views death as unnatural, an interruption of life rather than part of its cycle. Even insurance rarely covers palliative medicine, as though dying were not a legitimate chapter of life.
Over the years—from my days as a junior doctor to now—I have witnessed many different deaths.
I remember an 89-year-old gentleman whose disease relapsed after eight years. He could not accept the diagnosis. He lashed out at doctors, nurses, and even his own family. He refused pain relief, terrified of side effects. He clung to life in misery. When he finally passed, I saw relief—not just among the medical team, but also his children. His struggle was not unique; many die this way, unaccepting and in anguish.
At the other end of the spectrum was a 22-year-old woman with advanced lymphoma. When we told her that treatment was no longer working, she accepted the news with grace. She held her parents’ hands and calmed their tears. It was profoundly heartbreaking, yet deeply humbling, to watch her face death with such courage. My team and I ensured she left this world without pain. She thanked us again and again. That was a good death. Rare, but unforgettable. She remains etched in my heart.
In her short life, she had mastered what many never learn—the art of dying.
Modern medicine often allows us to postpone death. Some patients are spared from even realizing how close they came. But no matter how advanced our treatments become, death remains inevitable. And perhaps that is what gives life its meaning.
As a species, we must relearn what we have forgotten: to appreciate life while it lasts, and to accept death not as defeat, but as the final act in the art of living—the art of dying.
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